“You’re in her dms while I’m” —

A low battery alert flashes on your screen and you jolt back to reality, quickly swiping out of TikTok. Hopefully no one noticed. Actually, they definitely didn’t notice because nothing you do gets noticed. As your eyes’ ciliary muscles relax during the optical transition from close-distance to less-close-distance vision, the spreadsheets begin to refocus. 4 new Outlook notifications dance in the top right corner of your 34” ultrawide monitor. The lukewarm acidic drip coffee calls out to you for a refill. A marked shift comes across your face as its tense cheeks roll, groan and stretch into a smile. At this point, it’s just like a mask.

You briefly recount a personal affirmation: I am a corporate machine and I am so locked in. Your cheeks rubber-band back to resume smiling. You are now ready to maximize shareholder value.